What Are Some Common Problems In Language Exchanges? (And How To Overcome Them)

Language exchanges are pretty awesome, but just like anything, they are not perfect and there can be plenty of problems.

You will face at least one of the problems I am going to cover below, but realistically you will probably face many of them. It doesn’t mean language exchanges are bad, you just have to be prepared to deal with some less than ideal situations at times.

I will hopefully point out how to overcome any of these issues and you will quickly see that while some of them are annoying, you shouldn’t let them stop you from wanting to have a language exchange partner. 

Hogging One Language Is A Common Problem

A language exchange is supposed to be …well an exchange. However, it can very easily become one sided and one language is spoken a lot more than the other.

Sometimes this is on purpose, other times not, but either way it’s not great to be hogging one language so much, as you should really be speaking both languages equally.

Often this happens because one person is not strong at the language, so they just stick to the language they are comfortable with (their native one) and this means the other person is never really getting a chance to practice the language they want to learn.

If this happens, you just have to say that you want to speak the other language and hopefully they agree and if they don’t, you can decide if you want to continue talking or not.

I have even had happen both ways. Sometimes the person only speaks English and I have to just start speaking in French so I can get some practice and in other instances I have realised the person is only talk to me in French, so they are not practicing their English and have asked them if they want me to speak English for a while or not. 

So long as everyone is happy with the amount of exchange happening then it isn’t a problem, but just try and be mindful and kind to other people.

It Is A Problem If Both Of You Are Beginner Learners

This may sound a little contradictory, surely you are both there to learn …so why is it a problem?

Unfortunately if you are both beginners, you just won’t understand anything and you can’t communicate well enough to do a language exchange.

Let’s say I’m an English speaker, learning Spanish …and you are a Spanish speaker learning English …sounds great, but let’s think about it. 

I can’t speak a lot of Spanish so I can’t really say much to you. I can try speaking in English … but you don’t understand enough of it. You can speak to me in Spanish, but I get lost very quickly, and you don’t know enough English …so you can see the problem.

Really the solution to this problem is easy …don’t join language exchanges right away. Focus on your immersion and just trying to understand the language at a basic level, after this you can try and have an exchange.

However, I get it, it is fun to do language exchanges, so if you are not too good at your new language first, you need to find someone who is good at both your native language and the one you are learning. So in the example above, you need to find a Spanish speaker who can also speak English pretty well. Most of the conversation is going to be English, since I haven’t got much Spanish, but it’s a start and I am meeting natives and learning some new things, so it’s still a good exchange. 

Just make sure it doesn’t become only English, because then you are language hogging as I discussed above and while it may benefit your partner, it won’t benefit you.

It Can Be A Problem Knowing What To Talk About During A Language Exchange

When you take a step back and look what a language exchange is …its two random strangers, from different parts of the world, who are trying to speak to each using a language they are not good at. 

This can make starting a conversation both difficult and scary. It is a pretty common problem that people don’t really know what to talk about and this can lead to a lot of very basic or boring conversations. I’ve lost count of how many “how are you? I’m fine, and you?” type chats I’ve had.

Let’s be real, you have to start somewhere, so this is fine to start with, but it never really progresses much after this. It is just a reality that the art of conversation is lost in today’s world …but then maybe the language barrier doesn’t help things.

Either way, knowing what to talk about can be tough, but once you loosen up and realise the people you are talking to are real people, with interesting lives, you can usually find something interesting to talk about.

You can read more about – What Do You Talk To A Language Partner About?

Not Understanding Cultural Differences Can Be A Problem In A Language Exchange

Cultural differences can be a problem, but really this depends on your own culture and the language you are learning. Some cultures are similar and any little misunderstandings are fine …other cultures may get a little more easily offend.

Sometimes you can’t really avoid this, part of the whole learning process is kind of figuring out the other culture and what exactly is acceptable or not and sometimes you will accidently say something that you think is fine, but they may consider rude.

I haven’t had this problem speaking to French people, as our cultures are very comparable, but I have certainly had issues when speaking with Japanese people. It has always been very subtle things, usually I will ask them something I think is fairly normal, but it’s deemed a very rude thing to ask.

My general rule is to just be as polite and respectful as you can be and usually if you do say something that is culturally rude, your partner kind of understands you didn’t mean it.

Treating Your Language Partner Like A Teacher Is A Problem

A huge problem is treating your partner like a teacher …they are not teachers, do not treat them like this!

You need to remember you are just talking to a person, it just happens that you get to practice your language skills with them. Of course you can ask them occasional questions about their language and they may or may not be able to explain something, but at no point should you assume they are your teacher.

I have had countless messages from people just saying “can you teach me English?” of course I am dreadful and reply with “no” which really throws them off, but it has to be done. Maybe this is a bit of translation error and I am being harsh, but I feel they know what they are asking for.

Language exchanges are for casual chatting and practice …you will learn a lot from this experience, but the people you are talking to are not teachers, they are actually learners themselves so show them more respect and don’t assume they are there to just teach you everything for free. 

Over Correcting Your Language Partner Is A Problem

Languages exchanges are pretty informal and really just a bit of fun, while also being a way to practice your language. No one on these apps will be perfect and mistakes will be made and this is fine.

However, sometimes corrections are needed to help steer us in the right direction and help us improve. The problem comes when these are non-stop. It’s okay to let some little mistakes go by and not correct them. Maybe it was a typo, or they just forgot that one time, it’s not the end of the world.

This is a far better approach than picking out every little detail. Doing this can really hinder the flow of the conversation and it can also really be jarring for the person receiving the feedback, it can really knock their confidence and they may think they can’t get anything right.

I once had someone correct my English very early into a conversation, because I used the British spelling of a word …but I am a native British English speaker and they where a learner of English …yet they where correcting me.

I can only imagine how bad it would have been if I had tried to speak French to them. I am sure they would have corrected everything. As soon as they corrected my English, the conversation was done.

Don’t be an over-corrector, it’s annoying. If you want this, ask the person to do it. If you want that level of feedback it is fine to ask for it, just don’t bestow it on someone who isn’t prepared for it.       

Rude People Are A Problem

It will not take you long to come across a rude person on a language exchange site, and I really think this is a huge problem.

I am not talking about the rudeness that might come from some cultural differences that I mention before …I’m talking about 100% rude and unacceptable behaviour. This is very commonly seen in woman’s inboxes, which are filled with disgusting messages from men that have nothing to do with language learning and treating things more like a dating site.

I am not quite sure how we can stop this, apart from report the message and block the user, but there seems to be a constant supply of these idiots.

This is the truly ugly and annoying side of language exchanges, but if you can push this out of the way and focus on the actual serious language learners then it is still worth the effort.

(You can read more about – Why Are There So Many Idiots On Language Exchanges?)

Not Being Committed To Having Language Exchanges Can Be A Problem

If you really want to get the most out of your language exchanges then you need to be committed. You are going to struggle to find a good language partner and to build up a friendship with them if you are not really putting much effort in.

You should try and have a language exchange regularly and actually put some time in to it, you will see the results if you do. 

Spending Too Much Time On Language Exchanges Can Be A Problem

While I have just mentioned not spending enough time on language exchange is bad …so is the opposite.

It is very easy to spend a lot of time on them, just mindlessly chatting away to people. It’s not the worst thing for your language skills, but at the same time you have to ask if there is anything else that you could be doing that may be more productive. Sometimes other forms of input may be more beneficial for your progress.

I have made this mistake before and it usually starts to show its negative sides when you realise you have started way too many conversations and you can’t quite manage them all and it becomes stressful.

You start to get muddled between all the people you are talking to and you are not sure what you have talked about to one person and you start to worry that you might just be repeating yourself.

It is much easier to have a small handful for regular partners, rather than just sitting on these apps trying to talk to everyone because you are bored.

(You can read more about – How Many Language Exchange Partners Do You Need?)

Time Zones Can Be A Problem

Sometimes the time differences between your country and your partners can make things annoying. This will of course depend on where you are, and where your partner is, but for some people the time zones can really be a problem.

You can’t really do much about this, so you will just have to try and shift your own routine around to make things work.

I prefer to do language exchanges in the evening, I have finished my work and other studies and can just focus on relaxing and chatting …but this doesn’t work for my Japanese friends as it will be the middle of the night in Japan. This means I have to put some time aside in the morning, which would be their evening.

I don’t like it, but this all part of the fun of having international friends and if I want to do a language exchange, then this is what is necessary. 

(You can read more about – What Are The Benefits Of Having A Language Exchange Partner?)

Conclusion

So as you can see, language exchanges are far from perfect. Most of the problems are small and easily resolved, but they can add up and many people will get frustrated and give up and close their accounts.

Language exchanges can really be worth it and if you can push past the problems you can get a lot of from them and they can actually be really beneficial to your studies as well as be an extremely enjoyable experience.

(You can read more about – Frequently Asked Questions About – Language Exchange Partners)