Frequently Asked Questions About – Language Exchange Partners

Language exchanges can be a great way to practice your language and it is also a great way to meet new people.

If you are not too sure what they are all about you can read – What Are Language Exchange Partners? – While this contains a lot of good information, I still get asked a lot of questions around this topic, so I have answered them all here.

They are in no real order, and if there is something you are still unsure about when it comes to language exchanges, just ask and I will try answer it and add it to the questions below.

Are There Any Websites Or Apps Specifically Designed For Language Exchange?

If you are trying to find a language exchange partners online then the best place to look is of course going to be apps and websites actually designed for this.

You could try social media, but realistically finding someone and then actually talking to them isn’t the easiest, but luckily the dedicated apps make it extremely simple. You can just sign up and be talking to a bunch of people within minutes.

I actually went through some of the best apps I have used, so if you want to read which one I like, you can here – What Are The Best Apps For Language Exchanges?

How Can I Find Local Language Exchange Partners In My City?

This is a lot harder to do and really depends on where you live and what language you are trying to learn.

The bigger and more varied your city, the higher chance you have of finding someone who speaks the language you are learning.

Really you need to work out where that language is likely to be spoken and start going there to see who you meet. For example, if you are learning Chinese, it is going to make a lot of sense to start hanging out in your cities China town.

However, just finding random people to talk to and become your “language friend” is not always easy and you are probably going to have a lot more success if you do some sort of activity or hobby where the language is likely to be spoken.

So in the China town example, join a gym there, or some sort of sports club and hopefully you can meet some people and become friends …it’s just happens that you are also trying to learn their language and you can build your friendship using this language. 

What Is The Best Way To Communicate With A Language Exchange Partner?

The best way to communicate with a language partner is going to be on a language exchange app. These apps are designed to put language learners together and they do a great job.

Once you sign up to one you can be talking to someone within minutes. (You can see the above for a link to the ones I think are best)

Most apps have a text messaging system, so you can write to someone and start a conversation. If you seem to like each other you can arrange a phone call or send audio messages. This can all be done through the apps, so you don’t need to give you phone number, email or social media out.

If you build up a good partnership and become friends you can share these things, but you can of course keep everything within the exchange app.

You can read more about – How Do You Start Talking To A Language Exchange Partner On An App?

How Often Should I Practice With My Language Exchange Partner?

When it comes to how often you should be having language exchanges, this really comes down to you and your schedule, although I would encourage you to do it as often as possible, maybe even daily if you can.

It really doesn’t take much time or effort to send out a few messages to people and ask how they are and what they have been up to, so I really think you can always find the time to do this daily.

However, if you don’t want to do it this often, that is fine, but I would always make sure you are consistent and regular with your exchanges as you will get the most out of this approach.

How Do Language Exchange Partners Typically Structure Their Practice Sessions?

The beautiful thing about language exchanges is that there is no set structure. You can do whatever you want.

I would say a lot of people just chat back and forth as if they were having a conversation, it just happens to be in a language they are learning.

However you can do whatever you want. You can ask to talk about certain topics, or areas of the language, you can do role plays, or you can just quiz each other to test each other’s knowledge.

All you need to do is come up with what you want to do and tell the other person and hopefully they agree. Really the world is your oyster with this, you really can do whatever you want.

Can I Find Language Exchange Partners Who Are Fluent In The Language I Want To Learn?

Yes you can find people who are fluent in the language you are learning …this is kind of the point of a language exchange. You find someone who is a native speaker in the language you want to learn, and they should be trying to learn the language you are native in.

Then you can basically swap languages and help each other out.

This is the core principle to language exchanges, so if you have been trying to do something else, you need to stop that and do things properly, you will find it much more helpful and enjoyable to speak to actual native speakers of the language you are learning.

Is It Better To Have A Language Exchange Partner Who Is A Fluent Speaker Or Someone At A Similar Level?

This is a confusing question as I can see it from two different angles, which I will quickly go through.

You want your language partner to be fluent, preferably native in the language you are learning.

If you are learning German, you want to speak someone who can speak German fluently. If you start talking to someone who has as much experience as you …you will quickly realise you both know very little and you will have no idea if you are doing things wrong or not. 

The other way to look at this from another angle …if you are learning German, and speak English. It can be very good to have a partner who speaks both English and German really well.

I have had this with a few French speakers. My French was terrible. Their English and French were amazing. We could practice my awful French, and then we could talk in English about why I was so bad and what mistakes I had made.

This may seem like a bad deal for them, but it’s not. They are practicing their English at a very high level and talking about something in a lot of detail and almost to a near native level of fluency. They like this a lot more than the usual “hello, how are you” conversations. They can really flex their English skills and it’s very impressive.

How Can I Ensure A Language Exchange Partnership Remains Balanced And Both Parties Benefit Equally?

When it comes to having balance in your language exchanges this comes down to respect, kindness and communication.

You need to respect your partner and give them the time to practice, as well as show them kindness to actually go out of your way to help them.

A lot of this will really come down to communication and if you can just be open and honest with each other you should find that things end up fairly balanced and both of you will benefit from it.

This isn’t always going to happen and if you have tried to communicate this and it still isn’t working out …move on. These apps are full of people, so you can always try to speak to someone else and get the balance that you deserve.

(You can read more about – What Are The Benefits Of Having A Language Exchange Partner?)

How Can I Establish Clear Goals And Expectations With My Language Exchange Partner?

If you want to have clear goals, then you need to have clear communication. I think this can be a little difficult to manage, but it’s not impossible.

Really you need to start your conversations as normal and get to know each other, but try to steer the conversation around what you are both looking to achieve and then just be clear with what you would like to do and how your partner could help with that.

I think it is very easy to sound over bearing and demanding of your new partner, so it can be easy to scare them off.

Just be sensible, fair and honest and you shouldn’t have any trouble. If they are not up for agreeing with helping you in the way you want, then that is okay. They are not obliged to and if that does happen, just respect them and try and ask someone else.

Should Language Exchange Partners Focus Solely On Speaking Or Should Other Skills Like Reading And Writing Be Included?

When you look at language exchange apps, they are designed to be like some sort of mix between social media and whatsapp. There will be an area to read and write and message people, as well as send audio messages and have phone calls.

You should use this to your advantage and do a mix of both. Realistically you can’t just spend all day on the phone to someone, but you can send a few quick messages. I would message often and then when the time is suitable, have a phone conversation.

Language exchange apps are pretty cool as they actually give you practice in everything. You can do reading, writing, listening and speaking, so make sure you are using all the features to your advantage and practicing everything.

Are There Any Etiquette Rules To Follow When Engaging With A Language Exchange Partner?

You should treat your language exchanges like real life conversations. If you do this then you will end up being respectful and you shouldn’t break any of the etiquette that is expected from you.

Language exchanges are really informal, but you should still be respectful and kind to everyone you meet. If you have this attitude you can’t go wrong. I have written about some of the things you can talk about, but more importantly, those you shouldn’t. You can read about these here – What Do You Talk To A Language Partner About?

Unfortunately not everyone seems to understand that there is a basic etiquette when it comes to language exchanges, so you will find a lot of idiots in your inbox.  While I can’t stop that happening, I can at least explain to you why they might be this way, you can read all about there here – Why Are There So Many Idiots On Language Exchanges?

Should I Focus On A Specific Topic Or Subject When Practicing With A Language Exchange Partner?

This really comes down to you and what you are trying to achieve. It is totally fine to just have a random chat and get to know the person as if they where someone you just met in real life.

Or, you can talk about a certain topic. This can be very beneficial if you have just learned about a certain area of the language and you want to practice it.

To be honest, you probably should do a bit of both. Ask your partner how they are and what has been going in their life, just like you would with any other friend …then when they ask you, you can say “I have been studying X, actually can you help me practice this”. 

There are no rules with language exchanges, so you can really do whatever you want with your partner.

How Can I Make My Language Exchange Partnership More Interactive And Engaging?

This really all comes down to being a good conversationalist. This isn’t always the easiest thing to achieve in a language you are learning, so if your partner is a bit bland, cut them some slack, they are probably struggling and they just don’t have the depth of knowledge to really express themselves fully yet and some of your conversations may just have to be a basic or child like at times.

However, if you do think they can communicate quite well, then you should look at asking them quite interesting or challenging questions. Think of things that are not the usual daily nonsense. Ask them things that are going to take them a minute to come up with an answer, or is at least going to require a pretty in depth answer.

This can be a little awkward at first, but you will find the flood gates can open and you will go off on a very unique and interesting trajectory.

You can also make things more interactive by sending them pictures, which most exchange apps will facilitate. Just talking about your daily life can be boring, but by showing them some simple pictures it can really make it more engaging.

I live near a beach and I always send pictures of this, it’s nothing special, but to some people I talk to, it’s fascinating as they live hundreds of miles from the sea. There will be plenty of things in your life that are boring to you, but interesting to others so just be open to sharing.    

Is It Possible To Find Language Exchange Partners Who Share Similar Interests And Hobbies?

This is absolutely possible. It doesn’t matter what language you are learning you can find people with similar interests. While we all come from different parts of the world and have different cultures, you will always be able to find people with similar interests.

This will be very easy if you zoom out and look at board general topics. Think about broad things like music, sport, movies and food. If you start with very generic topics like this, you will find plenty of cross over with people, and then you can explore from there to find out exactly how similar their interests are to yours.

Before you even talk to them you have one interest in common ….you both are trying to learn a language.

Just talking to someone around this topic alone can open up all sorts of different conversations. Learning a language is a pretty unique experience for everyone, so it can be really interesting to find out about someone else’s experiences and compare and contrast it to your own.  

How Can I Assess The Progress Or Improvement In Language Skills Through A Partnership?

To be honest, assessing your progress through language exchanges is a hard thing to objectively measure. You just have to look at things very subjectively and think about your first few conversations and compare them to how you feel they are going now.

You should in general feel more comfortable using the language, or at least feel you can process things quicker.

One way you could actually measure this a bit more objectively is to keep records. Save your audio messages, record your calls and even screenshot your messages. Even if you have been doing things for a while, you can still do this today. Then do the same again in 6 months, or even a year and just see if the quality of your skills has improved. Do you sound better, are you faster, are you using more words?

It’s not a perfect way to measure things, but if you are critical of yourself you will be able to analyse some differences over time, hopefully they are positive changes and you can notice that you seem to be getting better with the language.  

Are There Any Cultural Considerations To Keep In Mind When Working With A Language Exchange Partner From A Different Background?

there are always going to be cultural differences when you are doing a language exchanges and what these are will depend on who you are and what language you are learning.

The differences may be very slight, or very extreme, but either way, so long as you are respectful to the person you are talking to, it should be fine.

Try and find out about the culture they are from before you start, which to be fair, you will have. Just through learning the language you will pick up some of the culture and the more you learn the more you will be aware of your differences and what they may find acceptable or not.

You also have the benefit of being a learner, even if you do make some huge social mistake by accident, they will know that you don’t know and they will not be too upset.

Just think about how you wouldn’t get too upset if someone visiting your country made some sort of cultural mistake that would normally be rude in your country. You would just think “they don’t know about this yet” and maybe you would let it slide, or even take it as the chance to explain how they shouldn’t do that again.

How Can A Language Exchange Partner Provide Feedback And Help Correct Errors In Language Usage?

This can be tricky, but it is important. You do have to let your partner flow and go with it sometimes.

Sometimes the conversation may also just be flowing too and if you are stopping every minute to point out something small then it can really interrupt things.

Generally I just go with the flow and unless they make a really big mistake, I just ignore it. If I start to spot something happening a few times, I will also point it out as it is clearly not just a typo or foolish mistake.

You can go the extra mile and take notes, then sort of send them a message detailing your feedback. I like to do this when people send me audio messages. I will listen to it a few times and just take notes of anything that isn’t quite right so I can tell them later.

I also think it is important how you go about giving the feedback, you want to come across as helpful and encouraging, rather than “you’re a big failure” type vibes.

As long as you are respectful and not too nitpicky, your feedback will be great. You can also chat to your partner before and discuss how you will go about this. You can do it anyway you want, so you may decide upon something I haven’t mentioned here.

How Can I Make My Language Exchange Partnership Last Long-Term?

If you want to make your language partner last long term, then you need to take the time to form a real friendship.

It is easy to keep talking to someone if you are actual friends. You can talk about anything on a language exchange, and at some point you should try and get to know about the person and their life and hopefully you can build a meaningful connection.

You can help this along by talking often and actually sharing things about your life with them. After a while you may even meet them in real life, and then when that happens, then they are actually a real friend for sure.

Just don’t rush anything, or try to push it. Just be yourself and be kind and hopefully you will be able to connect with someone and build a real friendship that just also happens to be beneficial for both your language learning.

What Are The Alternative Options If I Cannot Find A Suitable Language Exchange Partner?

There are so many language exchange apps, and each one of them is full of people to talk to. Even if you had one off conversations with everyone, you would still be talking for a long, long time.

I refuse to accept that you cannot find a partner on one of these apps. If you are struggling, you need to take a look at yourself. Is your profile complete and inviting, do you have a picture of yourself. It sounds basic, but if someone clicks on your profile and there is nothing there …why would they want to talk to you.

Then look at the messages you are sending. Are they something someone wants to reply to, or are you just saying “hi”.

Take a step back and ask …would I talk to myself if I received a message from me. If you are honest, it’s probably no, so change whatever needs to be changed and make yourself more approachable and soon you will have an endless number of partners to speak to and you won’t need any alternatives.

Conclusion  

Hopefully these questions clear up any misunderstanding you may have had around language exchange partners.

Exchanges can be a lot of fun and they are very useful, if you haven’t already, you should be using them and if there is something you are still unsure about, just ask and I will try and answer it and add it to this page.